7 Random Thoughts from 2 Years of Marriage

2009 June 30
by Bryan Barley

We got married 2 years ago today, and here are a few random reflections:

1. There’s nothing that reveals your own selfishness like marriage. The great thing about community, and especially marriage, is you don’t always get your way and you have to consider people other than yourself.

2. I’m convinced that the best way to cultivate a healthy marriage is to pursue a deep understanding of the gospel. The quickest way to kill the entitlement mentality, pride, holding grudges, delaying forgiveness, and getting worked up over dumb stuff is to look to the cross.

3. We must intentionally create a culture of discipleship in our homes. Especially for those of us who are seminarians, we’ve got to resist ministering to everyone other than our wives (and believe me, it’s easy). I love discipling my wife. If I have discipled and equipped scores of men to understand the gospel and the Bible, but Megan isn’t equipped in the same way, then I’ve failed signficantly.

4. It’s hard to believe that we’ve been married two years and Megan is only 21 years old.

5. I think we thought that this would be the craziest time of our lives, but really it’s only going to get crazier – it’s important to stop looking forward to something better and instead enjoy the time you have with one another.

6. The thing I most need to learn from Megan is compassion – she can read a news story about some tragedy and start crying right at the computer.

7. I hope we find more ways to serve in practical ways together. Some of my best memories from the past two years have been going to Mexico together, serving at our church, and meeting new people while we’re out on dates.

Love you, Meg.

6 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 30
    alanknox permalink

    Bryan,

    I enjoyed this post. Number 3 is very, very important to me. I wrote a post on this topic about 18 months ago. I thought you might enjoy it: Marriage and Discipleship.

    -Alan

  2. 2009 June 30

    Alan,

    Thanks for the comment and the link – that’s a very good post and I’m going to forward it onto a couple that we’re doing the same thing with right now!

    Bryan

  3. 2009 June 30

    #5 totally hits home.
    I’m *always* looking forward to the future and sometimes it makes me slightly resent the present.
    lol.
    Happy anniversary!

  4. 2009 June 30
    mbarley permalink

    i love these 7 thoughts. you’re the best.

  5. 2009 June 30

    You are a gem, Bryan. I’ll take a dozen just like you. I’m sure Megan would agree.

    Congrats to you both. May the kingdom expand and may God be glorified because of your love for each other!

  6. 2009 June 30

    Kristel – we can sympathize. I’m sure you feel that temptation even more with all the car trouble it seems like y’all have had recently

    Dr. Black – thanks so much, it’s much appreciated and I am very fortunate.

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